The Past

I always talk about the past

I stay stuck in it

like a car stuck in a rut

Or the left over food stuck at the bottom of your pan

No matter how hard I try to acknowledge the

present

I cannot scrape off the past

Part of the reason I stay in the past is because I'm

scared to leave it

Just like I'm scared to leave anything

I want to preserve my memories

Because I know they will one day be nothing but

forgotten specs in my ancient mind

It hurts to know we are all nothing but ticking

timers

Ticking away before our time is up

There is nothing you can do to slow it down

It's like putting a rock on the brakes and just letting

yourself go

I never knew the concept of time could be so real

Until I started to realize my time was up

So here I sit

Crying into my pillow every night praying to relive

the old memories

And not experience the new