"Trepidation and Hope" explores themes of the fears we face, both individually and as a society. The collection also addresses how others strive to change who we are, contributing to self loathing.
I. Liability
I cannot see;
The world around me, appearing hazy
I cannot breathe
No, not with these pale, lissom hands
Enclosing me;
Epiphany is choking me.
Someone help me
What have I become?
This ashen, broken thing
Is this really me?
These recurring,
Virulent visions
What if they're actually true?
"This cannot be firm," I cajole myself.
My gory hands,
They seem to say otherwise.
This relentless struggle,
These ruthless words
Are to be blamed.
These justify
Why I killed myself;
Changing what I was
To what the world wanted me to be-
A submissive, shallow girl;
Are you happy now?
II. Hope
Behind your broken eyes,
I can see your lost soul;
I can hear your shattering heart.
Your face is stained with tears,
And millions of scattered scars
From battles fought in the past.
I look at you, and see
How much your soul cries.
Over people that don't care:
Over people that don't matter.
Hey you, whenever I look at you,
I see a struggling child,
I see your ruptured heart.
Remember me always,
For I will be the candle of hope,
With that everlasting flame.
And I will give you the warmth,
That you forever yearn for.
III. Innocence of a Young Girl
those insincere, deceitful words
dripping from your tongue
those flattering remarks
that I blatantly believed.
a young, ignorant girl
ready to believe everything
that came her way.
wrapped up in denial,
she just couldn't fathom
how cruel the world could be
IV. Boulders
Submerged beneath the waves of loneliness,
I try to move on.
One ferocious wave after another;
Together they strive to bring me down.
There! I did it again!
There! I lost myself to the boulders again!
A raging sea building up inside me,
Was this who I was supposed to be?
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